I laugh in the face of studying!

Ok, so not really. I'm supposed to be finishing my PR study guide, and studying it, but I'm tired, and I think I'll just go to bed instead.

My dad told me something interesting today.

Apparently he had been in the garage looking for some of his hunting things, and when he went back inside the house, he apparently left the door open a bit on accident. Well, Ellie decided to go and investigate. Dad finally noticed he had left the door open...and didn't see the cat. So he got the treats and went all over the house looking for her, and couldn't find her. He went into the garage, and she bolted into the house! The scary part...he had left the outside garage door open...she's declawed in the front, and it's so scary that she could have been gone...completely.

We only got her in October, so we haven't been totally sure whether or not she considered living with us "home" or not. But apparently she does! It makes me so happy that she loves us and accepts us now. You have no clue how much I love this cat, and I don't know what I would have done if she would have left.

And let me tell you, Dad would have been in MAJOR trouble if the cat had dissappeared!

So that's the interestingness of today. Off to bed!

Calm in the Fury

Yay! It's storming right now. i love to listen to the thunder and watch the lightening.

So onto other things.

I was driving home from class today, and everyday on my way home I drive by the Veteran's Hospital. Today, however, it got me to thinking.

All of the Veterans out there have done an incredible thing for all of us. They put their lives on the line to protect us and our freedom. In my opinion, they deserve the best we can give them, and better. Most of them didn't have to do what they did, and therefore we should repay them greatly.

I'm utterly ashamed at how horrid the conditions are becoming in the Veteran's hospitals, and how much we don't provide for them.

I've known of soldiers losing their current employment because they were in the service. This is sooo WRONG!

They deserve hotel-esque suites in the hospitals they have to visit, the utmost psychological care from the TOP psychologists, ALL of their healthcare taken care of for free to them, and retirement on top of everything else.

These men and women do the unimaginable for us...all of us, no matter who we are. They fight for the greatful, the ungreatful, the mean, the nice, the good, the evil...EVERYONE. They sometimes go through the unimaginable medical and psychological ordeals, and all our government does is give them the bare minimum.

This is just something that really bothers me.

My dad is a veteran, I have friends that are currently in the service, and there are so many that have given their lives.

I want to say thank you to all of the soldiers and veterans out there who keep us safe and defend our freedom.

Ya'll rock.

Peace

Wow, things are going amazing right now in my spiritual life.

My dad gets voted on at New Middleton Baptist next Sunday (Easter). This is very exciting. I've set foot in that church twice thus far, and I have fallen completely and utterly in love with this church and the people in it. It's an incredible answer to prayers. I really hope we get called there.

I've been looking over some of my previous posts on here, and I didn't realize how bitter and hurt I had been from the last church. It was pretty bad.

However, this new church is like a breath of fresh air. There is even someone there my age!!!! So exciting :)

I really feel God in that church, and it's been so long since I could say that about a church. I feel so much closer to Him now then I have in over a year.

He's so good to me...much more than I deserve.

Praise God for this new beginning!

Hello again

I suppose I should start using this blog again. i really like it, and it kinda makes me feel a little more grown up than Xanga does.

There are a lot of things on my mind right now that I want to write about, but since it's midnight, and I have classes EARLY in the morning, i should probably go to bed.

I'm really REALLY happy right now for the first time in a long time, concerning church :)

why?

There is something I really don't understand. Why in the world am I so bitter? I don't want to be bitter. It's not a nice thing to be, and in all honesty, it doesn't feel good. i don't want to be this way. This can't be a good thing.

i'm bitter in a lot of ways, and towards different people. i never used to be this way, but I am now. I guess some of the things I've been through have contributed to it, but I feel like that's not a valid excuse.

These are feelings that i'm not really used to, and to be honest, i don't want to get used to. but it comes flying at me out of left field. i want to vent, but then again, i don't want to become a complainer.

I'm so confused.

The truth is among us

I got this from a Facebook group I joined...and the news should be spread.




This is for all women who DETEST their monthly menstrual cycle! Is it any surprise that one of the first effects of sin in the world was menstruation? Really, I don't see why guys don't have to have periods too, because they don't "toil in the ground" anymore... they just play video games and football. Where's the justice?!! A guy can work outisde in the dirt for a day, get a tan, grow some vegetables, then take a shower and relax! But menstruation (not to mention child birth)?!

-Happens once a month for approximately a week NO MATTER WHAT! Come rain or shine, finals, dates, dances, major holidays or shopping trips, the menstrual cylcle stops for no woman.

-Menstruation involves bleeding from the vagina. Typing that just makes me feel gross.

-The smell. Horrific at best... like warm, oozing death.

-Cramps. An irritating inconvenience for some, for others it involves being woken up at 4 AM by a stabbing pain in the abdomen that makes you writhe in agony for four hours until you puke five times, curse the day you were born, drench whatever your wearing in sweat, eventually fall asleep exhausted, then wake up feeling like Maryanne in "Sense and Sensibility" when the fever breaks.

-Tampons: we're thankful for what they accomplish, but wouldn't you just rather not in the long run? I have a feeling that tampons will be proven (by experts) to cause cancer of the vagina within our lifetime.

-Pads: again, thankful. But gross

-The dispensers in bathroom stalls. Always overflowing and gross, because who wants to clean that out? (A note: always wrap ladies, always wrap. It's just common courtesy)

-The expense of pads, tampons, pain relief of all types, heating pads, chocolate etc.

-That in order to ease the pain and uncertainty of the menstrual cycle via birth control we have to undergo an exam that is, for lack of a better word, medieval and barbaric.

-When the blood gets on your pants/skirt. It's happened to all of us, and really, there is nothing more humilliating in this life.

-The mood swings. Unwarranted crying and yelling, depression, extreme irritation. No I'm not in a bad mood, I just have my FREAKING PERIOD... OKAY??!!!

-The weight gain. Let's just add insult to injury.

-Let's not forget the break out. As if one couldn't feel more unattractive, having one's face explode the week prior to, during or after this heinous experience really adds.

-The biorhythms developed at summer camp, or other facilities of prolonged communal living, which cause all female occupants to menstruate AT THE SAME TIME. Incidentally, this phenomena cannot be experienced until the women have lived together long enough that they are sick of each other's company anyway.

-The male reaction. Support and understading rather than extreme disgust. I mean, no one wants all the grisly details, but for heaven's sake, if they're not going to get their butts outside and toil in the earth, they had better at least appreciate the burden we're bearing.

-The Old Testament reaction. Far be it for me to criticize the Lord or the people of Israel, but Red Tents? Like, a month of ritual cleansing?

-The fact that Eve ate the apple. Dangit mom.

It's been a while

So, I haven't written in here in a while, but I finally came up with something kinda worthwhile to write about on here.

So the parentals and I joined a new church this morning. LaGuardo Baptist Church.

I've been asked how I feel about joining there, and to be honest, I don't have any feelings toward it. I figure it can't be any worse than our last church, but I am quite skeptical of them.

Everyone that came up to greet us today when we joined was very nice and personable, and yes, I was even recruited into the choir, and I'm singing in the contata next sunday, but why should I believe that they are any different than the last church people?

I'll be honest, I was ashamed to tell people I was a member at our last church...especially after we left. I'm relieved not to be on our last church's roster anymore. But upon leaving the last church, I've become even more aware of how decietful and malicious the people there were. I'm so dissappointed in some of those people. i really do feel bad for them, and all the non-Christians that come in contact with them. I'm so glad that I wasn't un-saved coming into that church. if I had been, I can guarantee that not only would I have refused to become a Christian, but the idea of just going to a church would have completely been forgotton.

I was thinking earlier today, and when I die, I know I'm going to Heaven. Clearly, I'll be in Heaven for eternity. If those people that I had to suffer being with at that church are truly Christians (and to be honest, i don't see how they could be acting the way they do) I don't want to have to spend eternity with them. Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place. If that's wrong for me to think...oh well. I'm human. I think. It happens. But fortunatly I love Jesus more, and I'm willing to go to Heaven to be with Him.

I've just become so completely turned off from church. i have no desire what so ever to go. I don't ever want to have to go through all the things I had to endure again.

It's strange at our new church because everyone there shakes my hand and talks to me. I'm not ignored or skirted around. Tonight at choir practice, people thanked me for coming to sing with them, and told me i did a great job...even though they probably couldn't hear me. But still. That meant sooo much to me.

i just want a church family. one that is happy to see me, doesn't ignore me, and loves Jesus more than themselves...and doesn't have completely selfish motives...and wants to grow the church for God...not keep it the same size with the same people so they can have a power trip.

I hope I'm happy about church again. i hope I enjoy it again. I hope that one day, I stop despising church. But be honest, you can't blame me. Puberty was a walk in the park compared to the hell i went through in that church.

But at least now, at this church, I can invite people, and not feel ashamed. I don't have to worry about them being ignored. I know, at this church, they will see and feel Jesus there. You don't know how much of a relief that is.

Please pray for me. i'm so spiritually deprived and parched. I need a core group of Christians my age and a little older to help and support me. I never had a youth group, and I've never had a college and career group. Something is wrong with this picture. But hopefully things are turning around for me now.

Wow, this was longer than I thought it was going to be.