wow

It's been 2 years today...

Pray for the family. Pray for the friends.

Wow.

Peace at last

So, my dad resigned as pastor this morning. My family is so relieved! The incredibly funny thing is that the people in the church that are the trouble makers wanted to vote my dad out at the business meeting this morning after services...but he totally beat them to it and knocked the wind right out of their petty little sails! Oh the looks on their faces were priceless!

I'm glad to never have to set foot in that church again. I've never seen satan so prevalent in a church as he is in that one. And the people keep encouraging it. it's really a pity.

The youth were the ones spreading crap about my dad on myspace (how lame is that?), and what's sad is they are the ones being led by leaders (and deacons and their wives) who know these kids underage drink, and don't do anything about it. these "leaders" are also the ones that took a van on the last youth camp trip and had the van "break down" and pitch a fit that the rental place gave them a faulty van...and all that was wrong was that it ran out of gas...and it didn't even dawn on them to check the flippin gas gauge. i don't know about anyone else, but these kinds of people are the ones i'd want to keep my children away from.

these are the same people that told the youth that they needed to get rid of my dad. but i guess when you're led by people like that, and they let you do whatever you want to, you'll listen to them.

And it's also sad that some of the "youth" in that church aren't youth at all, they are in college, and you'd think they were high school freshmen.

I knew some of those people outside of church, and i never in a million years would have thought that they went to church, or were christians. and even now i have a hard time believing it. last time i checked, christians didn't act that way.

i'm so glad that i can openly talk about this now, without having to worry that whatever i say will put my dad's job in jeopardy. i'm excited about the fact that at the next church we go to visit, i won't be labeled the "preacher's kid." Now I can say what needs to be said, and not get my family in trouble.

life is much better now.

i'm so glad to be free again.

i feel like i have just awoken from a nightmare, but still have the heavy aftertaste of it on my mind...but i have sweet relief!

i felt Jesus more today than I have since we started at that church.

Yes, a very few will be missed from that church, but i'm ok with that.

I'm out!

ya know...

Things at church are still bad.

It's sad that I won't even invite people to church because I know that it will turn them from church.

Seeing how those people act make me ashamed to be a Christian. I don't want to be associated with them. I wouldn't even dare to invite Jesus to my church. Remember that time he got mad at the money changers at the temple? Yeah, I'm afraid He'd start throwing tables.

You should be able to count on your church family in times of need, not have to run and hide from them for fear of ridicule.

i've also been thinking about it, and I've never really had any good church experiences...lets do a rundown of them:
- When my family and I got back into church, i was in 2nd grade. From then until we left, it was bad for me. It had to do with #1 being a child...and we all know how cruel kids can be. and #2 during the middle school time it was bad all around...you know how it is...boys v. girls, and so on.

- After we left there, we went to another church. Things started out well, but quickly progressed to being bad because of one certain person...and well, some people seem to have total power over what everyone else does/thinks in middle school/eighth grade.

- Went to the first curch my dad pastored. Preacher's kid + other kids (which were few) = we dont like you. All the youth were related, and i wasn't. Our youth program was non-existant. I was scrutinized by the entire congregation because of who my dad was. That, and i was in high school, and that time in life is hard enough by itself.

- the church i am now. we've discussed this

- Lived in Murfreesboro over the summer, and went to a church there. The pastor spoke to me ONCE the entire summer, no one asked my name, or even tried to find out about my salvation. My sunday school class were the only ones that would acknowledge me, and they didnt say anything unless they wanted me to pass the donuts. Keep in mind that the size of this church was less than 100. not ok for this to be happening.

All i want is for my family and me to be accepted and loved.
I want a loving church family. I don't want a perfect one, but I want one that has God as their focus. I have yet to find a church near that. Where has the loving spirit within the church gone? I love God. I like God. I love the church. I don't like the church.

I'm having a really hard time right now loving these people. The youth are posting things about my dad on myspace, and i'm not very appreciative. "Down with the preacher man." and "he's going to get voted off the island." or how about "why don't you ever come to church? we need your vote sunday!" Why don't they just get the balls to tell my family this to their face.

I should just stop now. Before I get into things that I shouldn't.

Someone please help me.
I just want it to stop.
You know, I don't know whether I hope my dad keeps his job there, or loses it. I just don't know.