Shame on Me

I really shouldn't wait this long to update...especially when such exciting things have been going on!

I got back last Sunday from the Mission Trip I went on with my church to Pennsylvania. It was INCREDIBLE! We did VBS for a church up there, and the children were SO eager to learn about God. It was a real blessing. And I also got to know some of my fellow church members much better. I'm thrilled to death that I have 2 new ACTUAL friends in my church!!! It has probably been since the 5th or 6th grade since I've had actual, real, and true friends at church! God is amazing!!! Goodness I love those two women to death!

Ok, onto other news. Michael and I have begun registering for wedding gifts! It is sooo much fun to go around the store and scan what you want! I know there is probably NO way we'll get everything, and that's totally cool, but it's still exciting!!!

Hmmm, what else. Oh, Ellie, my cat, is sick. She has a BIG hole on her buttcheek, and we don't know why. It isn't draining or bleeding, but we are keeping a CLOSE eye on it, and we are going to give it a few days to see if it gets better. If it doesn't, it's gonna be time to take her to the vet...ugh.

On a final note, I'm hopefully getting some relief here in 2 weeks. I have a problem with clenching my teeth in my sleep, and it's causing me to have problems when I chew gum, when I try to close my mouth when I yawn, and I've been having really bad headaches. My dentist is having me get a custom night guard made. I'm thrilled because I'm ready for a good night's sleep, and no more headaches!

Ok, so I lied, there is one more thing I want to address...school. I go back on the 27th of this month, and I'm not happy about it anymore. I'm taking 18 hours. 3 of my classes are in the area of marketing, and a new prof is teaching those...I got to meet him, and I'm fearing for my life in these classes now. He tries to come across as a big and bad economist...telling me he's a jerk and he isn't nice, and bull like that. That didn't bother me until he asked me if I was good in math. Yeah, I'll admit that I SUCK in math. The word "terrible" would be too good of a word for my mathematical abilities. I told him I'd be fine as long as I had a calculator...and that's when my life hit the fan...he told me that he doesn't allow calculators in his class...simply because he could fit the whole course on his palm pilot, and he doesn't want others doing that and bringing it to the tests. NOT OK. I told him all I needed was my little scientific calculator that you can't program anything into. Then he told me that it still wasn't allowed because people would still try to use their cell calc and text the answers, or use palm pilots and keep notes in it to use. I think he just wants to make life miserable for his own sick pleasure. But whatever. Pray about this.

Ok, now I'm done :)

P.S. I'm reading the new Harry Potter book, and if anyone spoils it for me, I will have some sort of vicious payback in store! ;)

Groggy

I've got a lot weighing on my mind lately. I'm scared to death that I'm not going to get decent grades in my classes and I'll have to be here another semester. I found out friday that instead of graduating in May 08, like I had been originally told, I'll be graduating this December! Crazy.

I'm feeling burnt out on church...this bothers me. I've just been through so much recently that I don't want to risk being put through all the crap again. I really wish I felt different about it.

I've gotta find out what I really want to do career-wise...and SOON. I mean, I'm graduating in December...I need a big girl job with a big girl paycheck so I can pay off my loans...ugh. I prefer not to work in retail my whole life, and do SOMETHING that involves my major...It can't be that hard to find something to do with Agriculture Communications....Right?

Just realized I started the first 3 paragraphs with "I." Ack.

Hopefully my tax return will be here soon...I've got to buy some gifts for my friend's wedding...always a good thing for a bridesmaid to do.

It just feels like I don't have anything in my life together. I feel kinda disconnected. I just don't want reality to come and bite me in the butt.

Whats going on with me? Riley Armstrong (or was it Matthew West....I'm not sure) put it well when he sang "It's like you're reaching for the sun, but you're landing in the shade."

This has all got to come together eventually...right?

There's Beauty in the Breaking

Or at least that's what I'm told.

We just got "The Call" from New Middleton telling us whether or not we were voted in....well, we weren't.

This really hurts. I was really looking foward to going to this church, there were such great people, and I was really feeling at peace about going there. So here I go back to my feeling of not liking church.

This is really going to depress my dad. He was looking foward to being at that church, and he was looking foward to have a paying job again too, but I can just look at him and see how dissappointed and sad he is. I hate this.

I don't know where to go from here. I don't know how to feel. Right now I feel a little numb, hurt, upset...

I hate this.

Peace

Wow, things are going amazing right now in my spiritual life.

My dad gets voted on at New Middleton Baptist next Sunday (Easter). This is very exciting. I've set foot in that church twice thus far, and I have fallen completely and utterly in love with this church and the people in it. It's an incredible answer to prayers. I really hope we get called there.

I've been looking over some of my previous posts on here, and I didn't realize how bitter and hurt I had been from the last church. It was pretty bad.

However, this new church is like a breath of fresh air. There is even someone there my age!!!! So exciting :)

I really feel God in that church, and it's been so long since I could say that about a church. I feel so much closer to Him now then I have in over a year.

He's so good to me...much more than I deserve.

Praise God for this new beginning!

Hello again

I suppose I should start using this blog again. i really like it, and it kinda makes me feel a little more grown up than Xanga does.

There are a lot of things on my mind right now that I want to write about, but since it's midnight, and I have classes EARLY in the morning, i should probably go to bed.

I'm really REALLY happy right now for the first time in a long time, concerning church :)